I will spare you my rant and instead link to this wonderful thing so you can download it immediately:
Urban Brawl is a Doom mod, and it’s like Streets of Rage 2 if Streets of Rage 2 were in first person and also a chapter of Sin City.
The game follows your character, a Vietnam veteran now living in the crime ridden slums of New York, as he hits in the streets in search of his kidnapped daughter. The game is fully narrated in a grumbly voice that would put Max Payne to shame, and even features comic book style cutscenes.
Gameplay is melee focused (you get one handgun and ammo is sparse), but there are a ton of different weapons to get – broken bottles, chains, pipes, nail boards, wrenches, switchblades, etc – many of which have an alternate firing mode, each gradually wears down until it breaks and you’re stuck with your mitts. Fortunately you can toss down a worn weapon and pick up a fresh one easily. You of course use all these melee weapons to bludgeon, bash, and stab your way through a colorful horde of street thugs on your personal road to justice.
There’s also multiple story paths and endings, as well as a load of secrets and Easter eggs. The different stages are beautifully rendered in bright colors, but still manage to evoke that dirty, urban underbelly feeling.
The best part? It’s absolutely free. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain because this game is awesome and if you don’t love it like I do I will eat my own hat. It’s also stand-alone and does not require Doom to play. Installation is as easy as simply unzipping the file.
(Primary download hasn’t worked for me, so use Mirror 1)