Since this site is blocked at my daytime, might as well go whole hog, right?
I’m talking, my dear friends, about HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY!
The porn industry is hurting, my friends. I mean, let’s be honest … when’s the last time you PAID for porn? The mere thought of paying for pornography is downright offensive to some, given it’s availability all over the place, but really…it’s still a pretty big moneymaking industry. Still, not as much as it used to be. I mean, like I said – just like other entertainment industries are hurting, porn is hurting. I mean, unlike you’re a hardcore fan of Gianna Michaels or something, you’re probably just apt to find any ol’ free porn video, am I right?
So what’s an industry that has to pay stunt c*cks and fluffers and j*zz moppers to do? Well…they appeal to geeks like you and me. They know we’re already watching porn – target demographic is people in our age group (except for Aron – that dude’s OLD). Not only that, they know us geeks like to OWN things geeky. We may not need to own porn, but we sure do need to own every issue of a certain run of comic, or every release of our favorite movie series or television show (regardless of whether we like it or not – how many of us own Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Exactly.).
So when Batman XXX: A Porn Parody ended up being a pretty sizable sales hit, porn companies jumped on it. Since then, we’ve seen parodies of everything from Jersey Shore to the Flintstones and Scooby Doo (which was surprisingly good…I heard), and of course films AIMED at us directly, like Superman XXX: A Porn Parody (which kinda sucks…I heard). Vivid and New Sensations seem to be leading the charge on these films, with varying degrees of success and budget.
New Sensations is currently working on a Star Trek: The Next Generation porn parody that actually appears as if it’ll really please (heh) fans of the franchise. They hired an ACTUAL PICARD IMPERSONATOR WHO DOESN’T DO PORN (he has a stunt c*ck) just to make sure they get the feel right. I mean, that’s dedication for ya. They’re hoping fans of the series who have every season on DVD might just want to pick this one up (on Blu-Ray, of course) and put it next to the real stuff on their shelves and hope their wives don’t notice (“What? Oh, I’ve had that for years!”)
What do you guys think? What porn parody would actually get you to buy your porn?